Have you heard the rumor being bandied about?
J.P. Morgan's new name will be Dimon & Grout.
If you've wondered at the extent of the London Whale loss,
This is the first logical hint that we've come across.
Perhaps it wasn't a few billion, but a heck of a lot more.
Maybe even most of the Morgan-Chase store
Ended up in the hands of Martin-Artajo and Grout
With a new destination when Dimon's contingent found out.
PR thought Martin-Artajo didn't sound native enough
So despite his best efforts he was disappeared
Then to no ones's surprise Dimon and Grout confiscated his stuff,
Which was many more billions than depositors feared.
How does the rumor say Chase stockholders will fare?
Not nearly as well as Dimon and Grout.
As for Mary Shapiro, the SEC sexy ex?
Rumors are flying, but the jury's still out.
To 'U.S. Said to Plan to Arrest Pair in Big Bank Loss’'
To 'More J.P. Morgan's Jamie Dimon in Rhymed Verse'
To 'More Bush League Banks in Rhymed Verse'