C.I.A. Concessions
Now Hiring Proctologists!

Should the C.I.A. concede
    the battle of the bulge?
With torture now a practice
    in which they frequently indulge

Why are undie bomber undie bulges
    hard for them to spot?
Must they hear somebody gasp
    to feel their efforts aren't for naught?

Anatomies of bombers and
    of victims are the same,
So why are they so lousy
    at the scrutinizing game?

Most legs don't have weird bulges,
    or if they do, why not ask why?
Don't assume somebody's mama
    raised a lumpy legged guy,

Or that with the funny gait he's got
    he's imitating Bush.
He, too, may have a little something
    extra up his tush,

Bob Carlson

To 'C.I.A. Underwear Scrutinizers'
To 'U.S. Intel Lapses Helped Abdulmutallab'