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Father Éclair's In Rome The latest Word from your kids' favorite priest Hey, it's Father Éclair coming at you from Rome, Vatican home of the Pope's pleasure dome, Where we priests are at risk of losing our venues If we can't decide how to update our menus of centuries-old pedophilia. We're told if the Pope were replaced by a nun, We might face restrictions on one-on-one fun. Nuns still don't get it. They know we like kids. So where's the Church law that expressly forbids more centuries-old pedophilia? Some have suggested a castrati solution, But think of the risks to a fine institution. If boys were castrated, they'd have lovely voices But severely reduce a priest's sexual choices of centuries-old pedophilia. We're pinning our hopes on a course in denial As taught by the GOP side of the aisle Which insists it be run as a state-funded college Which is still tough as hell when the Pope won't acknowledge our centuries-old pedophilia. What? You want us castrated? And your parish priest? Despite the Pope's claims that abuse has decreased? Don't blame us molesters; blame the Church hierarchy Who assured us we weren't subject to this malarkey for centuries-old pedophilia.
Bob Carlson To 'A Nope for Pope' To 'Should There Be an Inquisition for the Pope?' To 'Vatican offers 3 reasons it's not liable for abuse' To 'When words fail, again, ire over child abuse is unabated' |