Jesus Rates Politicians
Inspired by Bobby Bare singing Shel Silverstein's
Unbeknownst to politicians
Jesus still enjoys a laugh,
Rating them for their positions
on constituents' behalf.
On a scale of one to ten
Jesus seldom gets to see,
Like maybe only now and then,
ours or theirs approach a three.
Changing demographics seem
insurmountable to most.
They assume they know the cream
when it's the milk that makes twos toast.
Many, whose childhood ambition
was focused on becoming eights,
Will soon be put out of commission
by non-Latino white birth rates.
Already black improves the odds
that Jesus might rate them a seven,
Unlike priests who're taught that broads,
not boys, are barriers to heaven.
Who believes gay priests and popes
can help beget big congregations
And, like all of Boehner's "Nopes",
inspire our future generations?
Forget their priestly estrogen
and try a switch to rabbit genes
We know their preference for men
but not much else about drag queens.
Do Israeli politicians
want their help to try for four,
Or will they count on Arab Semites
when Jewish birthrates are folklore?
Music & Original Lyric by Shel Silverstein
To 'A Nope for Pope'
To 'The Rage Is Not About Health Care'
To Lyrics for "The Numbers"