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Larry's Mama Tried Re-assessing Summers' credits for the bank bailouts Lloyd Blankfein didn't panic? Well, we sure the Hell did – Sold our goddamn Goldman shares for anything they'd bid. Watching Bear Stearns bottom out and Lehman Brothers flunk, We were sure our Goldman shares would be tomorrow's junk. Oh, how we envied John McCain, who believed no pain, no gain In choosing whom to marry. Why settle for the status quo unless you know who's in the know, Like Blankfein's buddy, Larry? Instead of being mortified, Larry says his mama tried To keep us out of prison for what we did to AIG. And though Lloyd lacks a pedigree she treated him like royalty. In return Lloyd passed her off as bona fide, so Larry says she tried To make sure we were all paid off and wouldn't lose a cent, And that prison up the river would be where orphaned gamblers went. But next time that we all screw up and bring the nation to its knees, We'll miss Larry's mama and her old-boy expertise. Who knew she'd go to prison for what she's done for us, And all because of Rachel Maddow making such a fuss? Why'd someone wish that Lloyd had tried to draw the line at bona fide, And at coddling Timid Tim whose mama's mortified with him?
With thanks to Merle Haggard's "Mama Tried" To 'Goldman's Blankfein' To 'Wall Street's Timmy Geithner' To 'The Great Goldman Sachs Fire Sale of 2008' |