Anti-birth control men, those ultrasound freaks,
Are about to pay dearly for their legislation.
Not only will heterosex be much rarer for them,
But laws being drafted bugger the imagination.
Performance standards will be drastically altered.
Quickies will soon become things of the past.
Women who are forced through nine months of gestation
Are going to insist on erections that last.
State certification is being mandated.
Ratings will measure the length of his fuse
With hours displayed on each testee's forhead,
Or for the more modest, fam'ly jewel tattoos.
But if home-schooled Santorums are the wave of the future,
How will they limit the size of their classes
Without substantially reducing production
With Republican help and rose-colored glasses?
Bob Carlson
www.politicalboondoggles.com
3/17/12
To 'Politicians Swinging Stethoscopes By GAIL COLLINS
To 'Romney’s Dixie Debacle'
To 'Dogging Mitt Romney By GAIL COLLINS
To 'A Clarification from Mitt Romney'
To 'Romney campaign says losing nomination would take 'act of God''
To 'G.O.P. Greek Tragedy' By MAUREEN DOWD
To 'Scalia's Screwups'
To 'How Corrupt Was Santorum?'
To 'Rick Santorum: The Blue-Collar One-Percenter'
To 'CREW'S Most Corrupt'
To Bill Moyers: Freedom of and From Religion
To Andrew Sullivan: How Obama
Set a Contraception Trap for the Right
To 'Tales From the Kitchen Table' By GAIL COLLINS
To 'The Battle Behind the Fight' By GAIL COLLINS
To 'The Evolution of Birth Control'
To 'Hypocrite Mitt Romney Verses'
To 'Pope Santorum Verses'
To 'Republican Verses'
To 'GOP Misogyny Verses'
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