"They say you're anti-Semite
     and hate me as a Jew,
How can you when I've done so many
     other lovely things for you?

"Like selling something overpriced
     to you, then selling short.
Is what we did illegal?
     They'll laugh you out of court.

"You think that our 'flash' orders
     are front-running every trade?
Why the hell are superfast
     computers still being made?

"And don't get big ideas about
     'borrowing' our code.
We've a team of shyster lawyers
     that protects our Mother Lode.

"The Fed is in our pocket
     and the SEC as well.
We've a balance sheet of junk bonds
     that we intend to sell

"To greedy institutions
     and hungry pension funds.
We've combined some Triple A's
     with crap they've always shunned.

"We're calling them 'Re-Remics'.
     No one else knows what they're worth.
Certainly not Moodys
     who's never present at their birth.

"And, sure, they're second cousins
     to the swaps we sold, then shorted,
That devasted Wall Street,
     that regulators should have thwarted.

"But, to our delight they didn't,
     and so guess who's starting over?
          As long as Moody's rates them,
          As long as housing prices hold,
          Afghanistan is peaceful
          And health care costs controlled –
You'll find my millionaires all rolling
     in 'Re-Remic' clover."

Bob Carlson

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