The first day of Father Éclair's Pedophilia 101
"Take heart, you pedophile recruits,
it's nothing more than sinning,
And sinning we've an answer for
a Pope whose ranks are thinning.
"He'll let you do most anything
if you do your confessing
To a child molesting priest
who'll help with your transgressing.
"We have his prior approval.
He needn't say another word.
His spokesman says he's busy
giving everyone the bird.
"So if and when he makes the time,
he'll deny he ever knew
How all of you were being taught
to do the things priests love to do.
"As interns you will not be paid
for services you render.
Forget the local labor laws.
This Pope is not that big a spender.
" M. Patricia Smith may whine
but we're to disregard her.
The Pope believes that lawlessness
contributes to our ardor.
"Yet he's afraid our ranks are dwindling
day by day and hour by hour,
And to keep you pedophiles
he needs to show them who's in power,
"And better than the RNC.
For though tithing's slipped a bit,
He's leaking word we can expense
sex for an intern's benefit."
To 'Unpaid Internships May Be Illegal'
To 'The Church’s Judas Moment'
To 'Vatican waited years to defrock Arizona priest'