I mangle. I garble. I appear misinformed. I never can find the right word. Or if I find it, I mispronounce it and still end up sounding absurd. But if Milli Vanilli could, why shouldn't I? Their technique's akin to my mom's apple pie, For mom never could bake a pie worth a hoot Though she looks like her diet's an apple pie toot. But pop could have used lots more help than he got. When speaking in public his tongue lost the plot, A family trait that he must have passed on. Tongues tied that poorly require a clip-on. My clip-ons from now on leave nothing to chance. We're recording all speeches I give in advance. The State Of The Union voice you're gonna hear Will be Willie Nelson's. I'm a lip-sync fakir. Bob Carlson |