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If you ever need some pork, get a fork. If you ever need Jim Crow, let us know. If you ever need some graft that borders on witchcraft, We are staffed – Nitwits, dimwits and our share of halfwits. Though other dimwits have been forgot, We have not. If we're ever in a jam, read our spam. If we ever get your goat, just don't vote. If we ever pass a bill whose passing makes you ill, Try our pill – Nitwits, dimwits and way too many halfwits. Though lots of nitwits may have got caught, We have not. If you ever need a crime, give us time. If you ever need more oil, prove you're loyal. If you ever need some armor for your car, Here we are, over par, like your czar – Nitwits, dimwits, who don't need more halfwits, But if dimwitting is your bit, Have a sit.
Music & Original Lyric by Cole Porter |