My Politickin' Spy Guy
(Sung to the tune "Ain't Misbehavin'")

This time I'm hawkin'
One off the shelf,
A spy for stalkin',
Whose secrets I'll keep to myself –
I'm handpickin'
My politickin' spy guy.

I know for certain
What I am gettin'.
He won't be blurtin' out
Who we're aidin' and abettin' –
I'm nitpickin'
My politickin' spy guy.

Like Dick Nixon,
He'll be fixin'
And deep-sixin'
What needs nixin' –
Secrets we don't care to share
With Novak.

He'll brief me often,
I'm kind of slow,
And like John Ashcroft,
He'll claim to know
   where heathens go –
My Tricky-Dickin'
And politickin' spy guy.

Music by Fats Waller
Alternate Lyric by Bob Carlson