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Each R Model Sucker's born with R's on his chest And inherited millions he's supposed to invest, While D Model Suckers will have D's on their toes, Making ends meet, but for how long, who knows? Oh, sure, it can happen the other way 'round If Cheney is told whenever one's found. So Dobbs can assign him an immigrant status And he spends his life mowing Texas lawns nearly gratis. But few are aware that when Suckers mature, Each develops a specialized ear aperture. It's not just ear shape – D's long and R's wide – But the hole with recorder that's growing inside. By the time that a Sucker's entitled to vote, His recorder discards any discordant note. So voting age Suckers, the ones with chest R's Hear R-Points-of-View on their ear VCRs, And voting age Suckers, the ones with toe D's Hear D-Points-of-View on their ear DVDs. With Designs-So-Intelligent R-D.C. was in clover Until errant R-Suckers began crossing over. Even tattooed believers had had way too much Of R-Bushie fiascos, Katrinas, and such. And without even hearing what the D-Point-of-View was, Were saying, "It's gotta be better than what R-Bushie's crew does!" Whereupon young Sylvester McWhiskers McCat Realized Texas-Guinan-Hear-Plugs could fix that And by going on-line sold his Hear-Plugs like hotcakes, Outselling Dave Letterman's Bush address outtakes. Model R of The Plug in an R-Sucker's ear Opens up a new world of chaos he'll hear. A slight twist to the left, it's the D-Point-of-View. Twist it back to the right, he hears nothing new. But Sylvester McWhiskers McCat's big surprise Was the Sane-Suckers feature he did not advertise. TWO twists to the left of the Model R Plug, Leaves all candidates mimes and you feeling smug. It mutes all campaign ads so you don't hear a thing Except sweet Texas Guinan throatily sing, "Hello, Sucker, aren't you glad it's not your dough that is Financing this clown and the media biz?" It was not all that long till some D-Suckers heard How TV campaign ads were getting the bird Thanks to Sylvester McWhiskers McCat – "TWO twists to the left, as simple as that!" The demand's been tremendous, he can't make enough. No more "Trust me, I wouldn't again…" kind of stuff. No more Rudy, "I'm sorry I married my cousin… Nine more and I'll courageously have made it a dozen." So unless you enjoy campaign ads on TV That make billions for Rupert but annoy folks like me, You're going to want Texas-Guinan-Hear-Plugs. They're a heck of a lot cheaper than prescription drugs.
Original Verse by Dr. Seuss To 'Bushie's Voting Ploys' |