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More on Bushie's Immigration Policy
“A Disgruntled Cheney” (I'll Never Fall In Love Again) “An Accommodating ACLU” (I'll Be With You In Apple Blossom Time) “After Attending The Pope's Funeral” “Ask First” (Who Cares) “Battle Hymn For Bushie Republicans” (Battle Hymn of the Republic) “Bush Balk?” (You've Changed) “Bush's Illegal Business” (What A Little Moonlight Can Do) “CAFTA” (After The Ball) “Congress Feels The Heat” (If My Friends Could See Me Now) “DeLay, Mahony & Bushie” (Have You Heard) “Do Call For Your Pardon By Phone” (In The Garden) “Doin' What He's S'posed To Do” (Doin' What Comes Natur'lly) “Fox: Don't Wall Them Out” (Don't Fence Me In) “George's Inaction” (Music Maestro, Please) “Illegal Bankers” (Wells Fargo Wagon) “Joy For Fox World” (Joy To The World) “Junior's Back In Town” (Lulu's Back In Town) “Look How They're Distracted” (Isn't It Romantic?) “Making Room” (Who) “New Immigrants For Israel” (Imagination) “No Mo'” (So Rare) “No Rules At All” (No Moon At All) “Outfoxing Bush” (Doin' What Comes Natur'lly) “Outfoxing Fox” “Relocated by Bush” (Make Believe) “Reprise, Reprise, Reprise” (Them There Eyes) “Senoras for Bushie” (I Got It Bad And That Ain't Good) “The Bush-Believing New York Times” (Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea) “To CNN And Condi” (Don't Get Around Much Anymore) “Turnabout Is Fair Play” “Who You?” (Who) “Wrong Again” (Little Girl) |
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What do you get when Vincente Fox Convinces most of his disgruntled shysters That tequila's great with Jagermeisters? More random shots by Mexicans. Will I ever do a shot again? What do you get when the ACL U thought helped call girls in Nevada Discovers Nevada's enchiladas? Penicillin shots for Mexicans. Will I ever need a shot again? Refrain Don't tell me I wasted a shot. Illegal Mexican? Most decidedly not! I'm Dick Cheney and I'm here to remind you With telephone tapping I'm right here behind you. What would the ACLU do If our president spoke no Spanish? If Lou Dobbs found no one to banish? And I couldn't take a shot again? If I couldn't take a shot again? What do you get when Fox's drug lords' Vehicle of choice is the stolen Lexus Parading at will through Crawford, Texas? A Bushie shot by his own men, Mistaken for a Mexican.
Music by Gerald Marks To 'Cheney, The Shooter' |
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Arrivederci Roma, George Bush is back ecstatic. He's finally figured out a use for junk stored in his attic. Instead of holding galas for a secret Bush museum, He'll favor Crawford, Texas with "The Vinnie Colliseum." He'll feature Fox-illegals who will joust for each Bush trinket. Racist or demeaning? Don't say or even think it. He's said we need them to do things that we natives wouldn't, Like joust and tilt in public if Mel Gibson thinks we shouldn't. Tilting's a Latino thing. Remember Don Quixote's? Instead of windmills we like blondes like Miller's, not Capote's. So who'll decide each winner? How 'bout using Jeb's idea To hold a Crawford conclave naming Thomas or Scalia? But any proper conclave must be secretive, of course, So he'll depend on Cheney to get the cart before the horse, And spearhead the discussions as to who should make each call. Another big mistake as Dick picks Dick to run it all Bob Carlson |
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Ask first who's in charge Of the world, of D.C. – Ask first if you think you want to date me – Ask which of them will be the one to rate me – Ask if Bush cares for you. Ask if Fox cares for me. Ask first, can we wed If we find we're in bed? Let's make sure before we both go bonkers, Or this could be another week-end lark in Yonkers. Ask if Bush cares for you. Ask if Fox cares for me. Let them pass new laws – Let them decide who's Santa Claus – For how they contend with No new recruits to defend with Should not concern you and me As we celebrate a fait accompli, but Ask first, if you're pregnant, Who they'll name as the defendent. Will they admit, though I'm eighty-three, The child will have my pedigree? Ask if Bush cares for you. Ask if Fox cares for me.
Music by Georger Gershwin To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Mine eyes foresee the glory of more drugs from Mexico. Even Fox's Limbaugh sees that as the way to go. That seven hundred mile obstruction? Built with Stevens dough? Let Lou Dobbs dream on. Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Not to worry 'bout our pokys – Let Lou Dobbs dream on. It's the beauty of the poppies that we're courting openly, But the opium they harbor's what transfigures you and me. We've sacrificed Mark Foley but we'll see he gets his free – Let Mark tie one on. Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Not to worry 'bout our pokys – Let Mark tie one on. We have cautioned Tony Snow that we won't admit defeat So before he grumbles, he's required to wash his feet. Conversion needs immersion to successfully compete – Bring Duke's strippers on. Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Not to worry 'bout our pokys – Bring Duke's strippers on. When I unite our countries I'm afraid initially, You might not like what it will do to our economy, But drugs will be discounted if you're in the GOP – Patronage for Juan. Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Okey-dokey, cokie smokers, Not to worry 'bout our pokys – Patronage for Juan.
Music by Julia Ward Howe To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Bush Balk? Being sung by Joni James to the tune "You've Changed" (…The sparkle in your eyes is gone…) Bush balk? Soon after Larry's Kingly talk Complaining Dobbs will go in shock Without that damn wall – So balk! Bush cringe? At letting Hastert's wall impinge On his right wing lunatic fringe, And cocaine binge – Why cringe? Can Bushie ignore the trauma To Vinnie's drug smuggling banditos? More important than catching Osama And a chance to try out pocket vetoes? Bush grim? The world's a mess because of him – That wall won't inconvenience Kim – Who's out on a limb? How grim!
Music by Carl Fischer To 'Bushie's Media Flacks' |
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Ooh, ooh, ooh, what a little Mexi can do for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, what a little Mexi can do to you. One's enough, but here's her brother. Next thing you know she's brought her mother, And before long there's still another That Bush has let through for you. Ooh, ooh, ooh, what a little Mexi can do to you. Wait a while and lots more will come sneaking through. Though illegal, you can't resist her, Nor her mother, nor her sister. Ooh, ooh, ooh, what a little Mexi can do.
Music & Original Lyric by Harry Woods |
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CAFTA you've been mulled over. CAFTA you'll be still born. NAFTA's left most of us reeling – Thousands of jobs are gone. We've enough Mexicans aching For U.S. jobs. It's the rage – And as soon as Bush lets enough over, He can lower our minimum wage. * The New York Times - 11/24/04 Editorial - "NAFTA Redux" * The Washington Post - 3/8/05 "Senate Votes Against Higher Minimum Wage"
Music & Original Lyric by Charles K. Harris To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Don't bother us right now We're on another break. That heat in D.C., wow, Is more than we can take, Though many million more misguided Mexicans may See us a symbol of less work for more pay. Our difficulty's been with idiots ilke Frist Who think our greatest sin is gays who co-exist. But with global warming out And snow His sacred cow, Do his dummies know without a doubt How many Mexicans we'll need to plow?
Music by Cy Coleman To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Have you heard that breaking the law Has nothing to do With who told you to Or your opinion of you? Have you seen a modern hoosegow? They're not quite the same. They won't need your name If they think you're to blame. Cardinal or crooked politician? It's your show. Eighteen to life with a common-law wife? Let us know. Have you heard we're waiting to hear Your testimony On a tapped telephoney, Have you heard?
Music & Original Lyrics To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Do call for your pardon by phone before someone new's counting noses, And the voice that you hear saying, "Cheney, mi Dios!" is the son's of the guy who sprays roses. One who talks Mexican, an ex-Fox Mexican, who admires ev'rything we own. Will the joy we showed as Mexicans flowed North soon become his and theirs alone? He talks and the sound of his voice is common but how'll we understand? For the language he speaks is a language we formerly panned. Yet he talks Mexican, like ex-Fox Mexicans, who admire ev'rything we own. Will the joy we showed as Mexicans flowed North soon become his and theirs alone? Some say that the sprayer you need is your son or even your spouse, Or the voice that you hear saying, "Cheney, mi Dios!" could be kicking you out of your house, For they talk Mexican, are ex-Fox Mexicans, who admire ev'rything we own. Will the joy we showed as Mexicans flowed North soon become theirs and theirs alone?
Music & Original Lyrics by C. Austin Miles To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Aren't they dumb to beat the drum against Bush 'Vigilantes'? Can't they see Bush lies in lieu of doin' what he's s'posed to do? Vinnie Fox sends Mexicans to violate our borders. With The Times both misconstrue our doin' what they're s'posed to do. Fox says, "I've got millions I can put to flight." Bush says, "Send 'em over in the middle of the night Guaranteed to vote with our religious right And willing to be drafted when I start a fight, Like they'll need to be, though illegally." Bush-Fox pawns will mow our lawns instead of our teenagers, For whom they are a dream come true. They're doin' what kids used to do. * The New York Times - 4/11/05 Editorial - "A West Too Wild"
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin |
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Give them jobs, lots of jobs. I demand you let them in. Don't wall them out. What's it matter they're illegal? They're all my next of kin. Don't wall them out. Let them send what they make back to help me ease Our chronic unemployment while I catch my zzzz's – How can I live in style without my finder's fees? Don't wall them out. Just turn them loose, they'll skedaddle while we prattle about freedom and Bush lies. He's so obtuse that it's easy to be sleazy as he tries to verbalize. Let me tell Montezuma his revenge commences The minute I coax Junior to remove his fences. As Wolfowitz has proved he's blind to consequences. Don't wall them out. * The Washington Post - 3/17/05 "Fox Says Walls Along Border Must Be Razed"
Music & Original Lyric by Cole Porter To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Tonight she'll go to Chippendales While I catch my z's – Tonight's a night I can't forget About saltpeter Now that I'm leader Trying to again appease Fox about his thing, His plans to bring Us lots more Mexicans Wearing their G-strings. She's always liked dancing, But finding I can't dance, Likes Mexicans Even more than Republicans. At night while she's at Chippendales Stuffing dollar bills I wonder if maybe I should close Those immigration mills. * The New York Times - 5/3/05 John Tierney - "Laura Bush Talks Naughty"
Music by Allie Wrubel |
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Is your Wells Fargo banker an illegal banker, aiding and abetting those illegal immigrants? The excuse, "It's not my job man" by your Wells Fargo banker is not the answer we'd expect from titans of finance. "Banking the Unbanked" - to help remit their earnings to support a government that is happy to export 'em – By the Wells Fargo Wagon is a corporate sandbaggin' of citizens who are waiting for Congress to deport 'em. * CNN - 3/21/05 "Lou Dobbs Tonight"
Music & Original Lyric by Meredith Willson To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Joy for Fox World! Employers know Expensive jobs must go. Bush wants them to outsource Their best paid jobs, of course, Then hire more Mexicans, Then hire more Mexicans, Then hire illegal underpaid ex-Mexicans, Joy for Fox World! Their time has come. George Bush has seen to that. It now is no joke That Spanish must be spoke By most Americans, By most Americans, Like indigent and unemployed Americans. Joy for Fox World! The time will come When Fox should be our king As Bush departs, Fox would deport Excess Americans, Who were ex-Mexicans, Replacing them with replaced ex-Americans.
Music & Original Lyric by G.F. Handel To 'Bushie's Employment Policy' To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Gotta cut this week's vacation short. Gotta guarantee I get my Court, Makin' sure no nomineees abort Junior's back in town. Can't afford another Kimba Wood, Or a Zoe Baird although I wish I could. Or a friend of Rudy's who turns out no good. Junior's back in town. You can tell Tom DeLay That there'll be no need to pray, That this time I'll have my way. He'll see who wears the crown. Gotta let illegal nannies in, Even Vincent Fox's next of kin, And show old nominees what might have been. Junior's back in town.
Music by Harry Warren;
Original Lyric by Al Dubin |
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Look how they're distracted – Seems like Congress might find its inquiries deferred. Look how they're distracted – An immigration fight so they forget I've overheard Ev'ry little thing they're saying, Now that I have bugged their phones – What their lobbyists are paying – Who's throwing them the biggest bones. Look how they're distracted – How soon they forget that they should be fighting back. Look how they're distracted – They've found something else to sweat instead of bugging and Iraq. By leaving borders broken I have guaranteed they will Leave me alone List'ning on the phone.
Music by Richard Rodgers To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' To 'Bushie's Snooping & Bugging Policy' |
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Who gives our jobs away? Who lets illegals stay? Who's sending you and your job abroad Making room for Mexicans who think he's God? Who pays for his success? You need a second guess? Who lobbies for this mess? Big corporations, or me and you? * CNN - 3/24/05 Lou Dobbs Tonight - "Broken Borders"
Music by Jerome Kern To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Immigration is silly If allowed to proceed willy-nilly But what I suggest is a dilly As it affects you. With most Lebanese pushing up daisies Take the remaining Hezbollah crazies, Let Alberto write new resumésies To make each one a Jew, And like you, Let them immigrate, A few at first, Not hit or miss, But lots more when, Like our Mexicans ev'ryone back there gets a yen. Immigration will solve all Need for a longer defense wall And my demand Condi Rice stall As your nation by my calculation Reverts to Jew fighting Jew.
Music by Jimmy VanHeusen To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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No mo' – It's time for Bush to restrict the flow, Budget a lot mo' dough, And protect me and you. No mo' – It's time Bush told Vinnie Fox, "Go slow – We can't tell friend from foe – Soon we'll have mo' than you." Back when they started Their bright idea: Fox didn't want them, But Bush did hea'. Now Fox is gainin', But, damn, we're strainin', And anyone who's legal is complainin'. No mo' - Illegals should be no-no, So tell Bush, "Forget hum ho – Remember the Alamo!"
Music by Jerry Herst |
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No rules at all, brought about By Alberto using his new clout. A Constitution? Naw, we'll do without – Now there's no rules at all. No truth at all about Iran – We'll let Seymour think he knows our plan And then deny the fact that it began Before no rules at all. We thought we'd made it clear – That Seymour's such a dear – That he should show no fear Until the night the timing's right to disappear. No rules at all? Great idea – More legal immigrants like Kurds and Shia, The Taliban, most Mexicans and North Korea – But no gringos at all.
Music & Original Lyric by Redd Evans & David Mann |
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Their Vincent Fox, like Lou Dobbs, mocks Bush Junior's bright idea To make it legal for illegals wanting to work here. Right-wingers gloat they'd likely vote for Junior and his minions, Fleecing blue states, increasing red states votes by many millions. But Fox can't wait to see 'mandated' future legislation And fears a lid on getting rid of excess population. Wouldn't you expect that Bush might find it odd That Fox would only want to ship his poor abroad? Does Bush suspect he couldn't tax the rich Without hearing his supporters bitch? Bush can't let his new illegals be, He'll be taxing natur'lly. Fox can't afford too large a horde while cat'ring to his wealthy. His powers that be would like to see Bush feed paisanos healthily, Taxing natur'lly, folks who've got no do-re-mi. To help them flee illegally, Fox publishes instructions Which have Bush miffed at seeing stiffed his hopes for mass inductions. Bush hadn't planned to show his hand for drafting more 'recruits', But folks who weed would fill his need for anyone who shoots. If Fox annexes most of Texas because of its location Won't most applaud and thank the Lord and send Bush on vacation? For our skinny shows that Vinnie now holds all the aces, That soon DC is going to see who Vinnie Fox replaces. Then ev'ry paen who's been fleein' north to earn a living Won't like living hand-to-mouth and will head south natur'lly.
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin |
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What kind of shocks will Vinne Fox receive when Congress passes Banking laws to freeze what's paid to his illegal masses. He's assured his voters that it's good for Mexico To bypass immigration laws and then send home their dough. But instead of going back to prop up his regime, That dough will go to trust funds that Fox can not redeem. Funds that will be used to pay for car and health insurance Whose absence will expose the worth of any Fox assurance. Bob Carlson To 'No Mo'' |
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Relocating you overseas, Or to Mexico – so say "Cheese" – Won't you smile at the guile he's employing? It's your house, not your spouse, That you'll see Immigrants will be enjoying As he lets them in illegally. Is he sad that you're mad He's Dubble-yewed you? Well to tell the truth, not too. * CNN - 3/24/05 Lou Dobbs Tonight - "Broken Borders"
Music by Jerome Kern |
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Lou Dobbs can't stomache them. Ergo his stratagem – Demonize Any American Who is a Mexican In disguise. "Their jobs may be crappy. It's what they do. They'll walla' in squalla' For a paltry buck or two. "They're here illegally. Why treat them regally? They're bad guys. Don't legalize them if you're wise." He'll bluster like Custer, Or lose his street creds as a Fox ball-buster. But getting rid of them Would mean a requiem For Dobbs' reprise.
Music & Original Lyric by Maceo Pinkard, To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |
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Self-appointed charter member of his priesthood For border fences of plywood, Dobbsy never can remember the things he should. He knows I'm bad but not how good. For when nobody's lookin', Except some border guards, Alberto still can smuggle Senoras to snuggle. While for Dobbsy that September proved I never could, I've been acting bad and doing good.
Music by Duke Ellington To 'Bushie's Media Flacks' |
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Bush believer – Who has been naiver Instead of skeptical? The Bush-Believing New York Times. Goofball story – Bush's fight for glory, And he again mislead The Bush-Believing New York Times. Hoodwinked why we ought to go to war, Powell's UN story they fell for. Even now they fail to get the gist And meekly parrot, "Si, senor." "Vigilantes" Don't fold when Bush antes, Unlike the editors Of The Bush-Believing New York Times. Border tension? Bush has no intention Or scheme to intervene To indulge The New York Times. * The New York Times - 4/11/05 Editorial - "A West Too Wild" * The Nation - 4/25/05 Eric Alterman - "Case Closed"
Music by Harold Arlen |
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Verse I like to pretend I'm Charlie McCarthy but I'm more like Mortimer Snerd, And what with so many wars now whirling about me, Edgar can't recall what we've heard. Chorus Missed Lou Dobbs and his rants. National Guard was what for? Rummy says he could use them. Mentioned something door-to-door. Bent on clearing my scrub. Condi's minding the store. So why's Dobbsy shouting, "You're up the creek with one oar"? Condi, I guess I'd be more at ease If you would address Why Dobbsy disagrees With the way we keep score, Of who's protecting our borders And not some media whore.
Music by Duke Ellington To 'Bushie's Media Flacks' |
Pick a card; pick any card. No way can you go wrong. Each hacienda on my agenda can be yours for a song. As we let Vincent Fox kin in, you'll be invited out. Could anything be fairer than a simple turnabout? There'll be no snow to shovel, so what a great idea! You'll have no job down there? Who says you'll have one here? I'm sure you'll love the climate, although it can get hot, But you won't really mind it when they steal the clothes you brought. Return and refund policies will hinge on future talks Between me and my predecessor, and successor, Fox. Bob Carlson |
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Who will you prove you are? Someone who drives a car, Or someone here illegally, Certified by your DMV? Who will they let you be? Someone they'll want to see Read "next lines" easily? Someone like me? * The New York Times - 5/4/05 Editorial - "An Unrealistic 'Real ID'"
Music & Original Lyric by Jerome Kern |
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Wrong again, you would think he'd have learned. Wrong again, he and we will be burned. Why does he take Vinnie Fox's advice? Quite obviously Big Oil met their price. Wrong again, Fox's lobbyists win. Wrong again, jobs for Fox and his kin. Just four percent of the oil that we'll need? Wrong again, it's for corporate greed. Wrong again, the environment spoiled. Wrong again, greedy palms getting oiled. Why not call SUVs what they are? Who will pay Congress to make them a "car"? Wrong again, fuel economy sucks. Wrong again, they'll use Fox's influx. But Alaska's big, what's another oil well? And caribou tacos are swell. "But we likes polar bear." And polar bear tacos are swell. * The New York Times - 3/16/05 Editorial - "More Energy Follies"
Music & Original Lyric by Madelyn Hyde & Francis Henry To 'Bushie's Environment Policy' To 'Bushie's Greed & Corruption' To 'Bushie's Immigration Policy' |