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More on Bushie's Terrorists
“America, Remember” (Remember) “Begin The Regime” (Begin The Beguine) “Best Sellers” “Bush Loses His Holy War” “Bush's Love For Baghdad” (I Love Paris) “Bush's Two Armies” (This Is the Army, Mr. Jones) “Bush's War On Terror Becomes His Struggle...” (This Is the Army, Mr. Jones) “Changes” (There'll Be Some Changes Made) “Chemical Plant Insecurity” (Oh, How I Hate To Get Up In The Morning) “Credibility” (A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody) “Damn You, Bush” (Crazy Rhythym) “Falluja” “Fiendish Intentions” “Friendly Skies” (I'm Beginning To See The Light) “Good Deeds For Daddy” “Guilty As Hell” (Guilty) “He Must Have Lost It” (I May Be Wrong But I Think You're Wonderful) “Hey, Iraqis” (Hey, Good Lookin') “Isn't It Fantastic” (Isn't It Romantic) “It's Debacle” (It's De-Lovely) “Just One Of Those Wars” (Just One Of Those Things) “Kicks” (I Get A Kick Out Of You) “Nothing In Mind” (Trouble In Mind) “Right” (I Gotta Right To Sing The Blues) “Rummy Knows” (Anything Goes) “Saddam Was A Good Guy” (I May Be Wrong But I Think You're Wonderful) “Smile Osama Dear” (Melancholy Baby) “Some May Have To Wait” “Stuck In A Rut” “Swagger vs. Substance” “Ten Cents A War” (Ten Cents A Dance) “The Bush Mission” “The Goal” (Ain't We Got Fun) “The Spelling Did It” (Keepin' Out Of Mischief Now) “Three Little Pigs” “Troops For Hire” (Love For Sale) “Twinkle Twinkle” “War's Wonderful I” (I May Be Wrong But I Think You're Wonderful) “War's Wonderful II” (I May Be Wrong But I Think You're Wonderful) “What He's Done And Won't Do” (It Had To Be You) “Where And When, Colin?” (Where Or When) |
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September was when Osama said, "Death to America." That's when Bush vowed He'd track him down, Quickly, America. Osama then found a lonely spot, And though Bush claimed he'd tried a lot, Osama still has yet to be caught. Has Bush forgotten, America?
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin To 'Policies - Quitting Iraq' To 'Terrorists' |
When he begins the regime, It brings back the sound of shock and awe splendor – It brings back the might of a Saddam contender – It brings back a can of worms unforseen. You took us to war, neocon stars, And found so much more that you've been downplaying, And even now seem to be praying Bush can begin the regime. You'd do it again when most would say never. You've been out of tune right from the start. Yet here we are stuck in Iraq forever And promising never, never to part. The end of the line – a terrible scene. It didn't take long to forget the freedom they'd tasted. So now when we hear people curse the chance Rummy wasted, We know all too well what they mean. So let Bush begin the regime. Let the love the world had for us remain an ember. Let it sleep like the love of peace we only remember As Bush begins the regime. Yes, he'll try to begin the regime, make them pay, Till the powers that were there before return to haunt him – Till they blow us to hell and gone because they want him, And we suddenly know the mess we're in As he begins the regime.
Music by Cole Porter |
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How will Junior's book, "My Wars", compare with Bill's, "My Life"? Half as long — most of us hope — ghost written with his wife. No one doubts that it will top the Times Best Seller list. Yet few believe that they'll compete; they'll simply co-exist. The Book Review will ponder; pause; then go the extra mile To question if it's for adults or for a juvenile. We're told that if it's for adults, the Fit-to-Print Inspector Subjects the author/authoress to a lie detector. And based on what we've heard so far, the morning line prediction Is that The Times will classify their book, "My Wars", as fiction. Bob Carlson |
Bush, The President of Terror! Bush, The President of War! Can't admit his grievous error… Loses friends we had before. Bush fights for our righteous right Making his a Holy War. Tortured captives come to light… Now he's hated even more. Bush, the self-proclaimed Crusader, Underestimates the price. Backs the West Bank Barricader… Joins him skating on thin ice. Bush turns into The Conceder, Having lost his Holy War, Hands command to Saddam's leader… That's what he lost our soldiers for ??? Bob Carlson |
I loved Baghdad when they loved me. Not as much now that they don't. I loved the Baghdad that my Poppy helped to arm. Too bad that Baghdad now thinks it's Vietnam. I love Baghdad when they're looting Vindicating Halliburton's goal. I love Baghdad as long as there's no shooting. Must mean that Rummy's on a roll. I might like Sudan much better. Better than Iran though both are hot. But Cheney'd skip Sudan; he says forget 'er. Because Iran's got oil Sudan has not. I love Baghdad when it's quiet And not rioting a lot. I say that I love Baghdad – Why, oh, why do I love Baghdad? Do I love it? Much more than I ought.
Music by Cole Porter |
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Which of Bush's armies will you join? Choose his shish kebab or tenderloin. He's getting lot of takers for his shish kebab, But tenderloin recruits don't want the job. Some think his debacle in Iraq, Is why it's tenderloin recruits we lack. It certainly is why the shish kebab hard core Is growing faster than it did before. Do you think that Bush understands That he inspires one army, But not one he commands? Prize recruiter Bush "knows" what it takes, With Iraq he quickly raised the stakes. Shish kebabs who hate him itch to go to war – Tenderloins are asking what's it for. * The New York Times - 7/8/05 "Subway and Bomb Blasts in London…"
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin To 'Terrorists' |
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Can't win the war on terror, So tell you what we'll do, We'll call our war a struggle against Extremists just like you. If you don't feel the same way That our extremists do, Our losing war on terror becomes A struggle till you do. For ev'ry bad extreme that you have, Why, we've got three or four. And just like you we won't rest Till you agree to like ours more. For we don't mind extremists, Who feel the way we do. But until you change your extremes, We'll be struggling with you.
Music by Al Dubin |
To him a change in dictators Means a change in who's free. He's announced he knows what's gonna be's gonna be. His walk may be diff'rent. His talk? 'Bout the same… With not that much to say about who deserves the blame – For his claims Iraq was hiding what there wasn't any of, and That they gave Osama an occasional love – 'Cause very few still buy it when they hear him say, Going after Saddam was the only way To get some changes made.
Music by W. Benton Overstreet |
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Oh, how they're anxious to pocket their profits. Who cares if thousands could end up dead? Their bottom line could be hurt By the cost of a red alert. Ante up, Or be blown up? Which will foul up their bonus? That's why they're lobbying Bush and the Congress With payoffs so large they could end up in the red. But the cruelest blow of all Is when golden parachutes fall As they find out they must reimburse the dead. * The New York Times - 7/8/05 "Protections for the United States…"
Music & Original Lyric by Irving Berlin To 'Policies - Security' To 'Terrorists' |
Though it now seems quite incredible Bush at times had sounded credible In an upsettable way. Now he's worse which is regrettable. Things he says he'd find inedible, If he'd eat his own words some sweet day. Promises that are ungettable Unless stunts he's pulled are sheddable and Deals he's made are made to go away. How can someone so airheadable Not be equally beheadable As those troops whose lives he's risking the 'W' way.
Music by Walter Donaldson |
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Damn you, Bush, we're being blown up All because you didn't bone up On how much we'd hate you once you're here. Damn you, Bush, why can't you own up To the fact you're being shown up As a cowboy thrown by his bum steer. When a dummy hires a Rummy to do his dirty work And the Rummy proves to be an incompetent jerk, Ain't it a shame Terror's your game. Damn you, Bush, to us you're hopeless At fighting terror. Try playing Pope less. You're not infallible as you've proven here.
Music by Meyer & Kahn |
Falluja's Junior's Stalingrad – Falluja's Halliburton's dream – Falluja's Junior's silly putty – Falluja's Cheney's Crispy Crème – Junior broke it; now he owns it: One enormous pile of rubble. Bombed their homes and voting places – Bought himself a pile of trouble. Rubble, on the other hand, is Right up Halliburton's alley. Bomb and build's been Cheney's mantra; Guarantees his stock will rally. Junior's squeezed Falluja's rebels – Silly putty in his hands? Puts Ashcroft in charge of cloning Lots more virgins than they'd planned. Cheney diets on insurgents, Deadlier than alcohol – Crispy Cremes for lunch and dinner Build up his cholesterol. Falluja's Junior's Stalingrad – Falluja's Halliburton's dream – Falluja's Junior's silly putty – Falluja's Cheney's Crispy Crème – Bob Carlson |
"Saddam intended…" Upon my soul! Something bad? While in his hole? Imagine that! What got him there? Bad intentions? Some will swear – He'd someday like to overthrow A Bush or two who claim to know Which way his politics should go? Which Faith would suit his people best To the exclusion of the rest? "Young George intended…" I must be daft! Something bad? Avoid the draft? Imagine that! Decline to serve? Bad intentions? Loss of nerve – He'd someday like to overthrow A fiend or two who claim to know Which way their politics should go? Which Faith would suit their people best To the exclusion of the rest? Bad intentions? Start a war! Isn't that what wars are for? Imagine that! They thought bad thoughts? Call up The Guard! We've got lots Of other troops who have no choice But to obey their Master's voice – Like the fiend who'd overthrow Any fiend who'd claim to know Which way his politics should go… Which Faith would suit his people best To the exclusion of the rest… Bob Carlson |
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I've always been big on alibis, Missed perceptions and bald-faced lies, But now that the British have secured our skies I am grinning with all my might. I love the reimbursement of Big Oil dough After each anticipated Gulf Shore blow. Though Chertoff will be unprepared and not in the know, I'll be grinning with all my might. Chertoff's gamble that his arks Can be auctioned as to where each parks With naming rights for sale as each embarks Has got to be the cat's meow. Democrats who fly with cans of turpentine Stand accused of helping to fuel Palestine. Don't you feel secure with Cheney's morning line That I'm grinning with all my might?
Music by Duke Ellington To 'Bushie's Terrorists' |
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Yes, it's a sin, Yes, it's a crime, Failing to do what you knew Would make the world find you guilty Because of what you didn't do. We have been wrong In letting you Continue to lie like you do, Claiming you've never been guilty, Guilty for what we've been through. What can we do, What can we say, Now they've blown London apart? Who'll take the blame? Who'll walk away Claiming that they're losing heart? It has been years, You've known our fears, Still you have not done your part. George Walker Bush, you are guilty, Guilty till death do us part! * The New York Times - 7/8/05 "Subway and Bomb Blasts in London…"
Music by Harry Akst & Richard A. Whiting To 'Policies - Security' To 'Terrorists' |
You say I lost, but I'm not admitting it. And if I lost, hey, How would I tell? I've tried some lies, and I've got real good at it, So Rove's surprised that So few went well. We would be getting out gladly, Had we a clue how to quit. Voters are reacting badly – Must Cheney get all of the wells? I'll be returning to My Texas kith and kin So we can dabble in Our own stem cells.
Music by Henry Sullivan |
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Hey, Iraqis! Now you're my lackeys. How's about getting' back on track with me? That's enough bombin'. Time for pompomin'. Let me cheerlead you in a cheery cheer, "Now we're free." I was the best cheerleader in school, And still excel at playing the fool. So my Iraqis, Though it sounds tacky, I'll be a born again anything, if you'll stop bombin', Anything you want me to be.
Music by Hank Williams |
Isn't it fantastic? Rumors that just might have seemed a mite absurd – Isn't it fantastic? Justify a fight although the truth was blurred. They claimed Iraq was buying what The Bomb's made of. Now we've found who was lying – not who we're rid of. Isn't it fantastic? Who was taken in by simple lies like this – Isn't it fantastic? Ev'ry lie they've told has somehow gone amiss. They'll help Iraq civilians see democracy rebuild their power plants We destroyed by chance.
Music by Richard Rodgers |
The war was young, the end seemed near, and we were stupidly credulous, dear, To de Bush, to de bunk, to debacle. Who'd have believed the White House lied by claiming they'd love to be occupied? That's de Bush, that's de bunk, that's debacle. We were told in advance they won't fight this chance circumstance – That we'd hear their Ayatollahs murmuring low, "Go with the flow." So as we retreat, give back sov'reignty, and deny defeat, please repeat with me: "It's deplorable, it's di-sas-tar-ous, it's detestable, It's despicable, it's devious, it's deceitful, It's de Bush, it's de bunk, it's debacle."
Music by Cole Porter |
It was just one of those chores – Just one of those dreadful bores – One of those hells that now and then gells – Just one of those wars. But it was soon one of those fights – Soon one of those special delights – One lucky chance to show who wears pants – One of my birthrights. If we'd thought a bit, we'd have ended it when it started going haywire. We'd have been aware Wolfie's love affair was a fraud due to expire. Say goodbye to my playpen. Vote for me. We'll do it again. It was great fun, Though it was just one of those wars.
Music by Cole Porter |
I got no kick from Hussein Stuck in a hole like a mole isn't droll, Unless you are one of those few With not much left you want to do. Some like a major campaign, Long and drawn out, limited clout, an end that's in doubt, But I am not one of those few. I have many more wars left to do. I get a kick ev'ry time The Court picks me and not the victor. I get a kick for it's clear to see whose Poppy must have handpicked 'er. I get a kick in a plane. It's the way to no pain when they bomb my domain, So I don't complain When they leave me so little to do With the plans Cheney lets me review.
Music by Cole Porter |
"Nothing in mind, unlike The dad I told to take a hike – When he left Hussein to reign, I bawled for days. "Nothing in mind, mine's blue Seeing what we're now in to – Cheney's 'in and out in days' still meets delays. "Nothing in mind, I guess, Following up that first success – Bremer's only plan was to ban Bath résumés. "Nothing in mind, again For we don't know where or when Rummy's boys with toys will call for more misplays. "Nothing in mind, it seems, When it comes to new regimes – They keep blowing up who we set up and praise. "Nothing in mind, mine's blank – Not a drop left in my tank – But despite where what we spent went Congress pays. "Nothing in mind, mine's blue But it won't be blue always. If they won't take back Iraq one of these days, "I'm gonna lay my head At a fine Iraqi shrine And let a car bomb calm my mind in forty ways."
Music by Richard M. Jones |
I gotta right to sometimes lose – I gotta right to be a pawn – To not know what's going on right along with Cheney. A P.R. man in this damn town Keeps pushing me around. He thinks another war Will help him restore My right to blow a fuse – My right to get real high – Their right to deify me right along with Cheney. 'Twas on that white hot sand That we misplayed our hand, Where despite Fox TV News, We showed the world how we could lose.
Music by Harold Arlen |
In prior wars each fight was won by troops, each one of whom packed a gun, But Rummy "knows" That won't be how it goes. The high tech gadgets, that will ratchet up his budget and not just slowly nudge it, Rummy "knows" Will keep Bush on his toes. Missile defense and stealth offense to fight insurgents never made much sense, But, It's no skin off his nose, If those troops today, That he dupes today, Need much more today Than "what for?" today, And "Back up today, We'll pack up some day and go." So though it sounds unpatriotic, We agree that it's idiotic To retain the idiot who "knows" "More than a world of silly so and sos."
Music by Cole Porter |
He was a good guy When Reagan sold him arms, But such a bad guy When Poppy waged war. Again a good guy When Cheney dealt with him, But indespicable When I gave him what for. Why is there misunderstanding? A sale, or a cat by the tail – To Texans it's like gerrymanding, But done on a lovelier scale. We love dictators when They help us make a buck, but Let them go for something more, They'll curse their luck.
Music by Henry Sullivan |
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Verse 1 Send me a sign that you'll resign. Let me hear your grievance against what I do. Though I'm his son, it's not much fun Garbling words we've used describing you. Let's make amends, can't we be friends? Five years of not looking is a long long time To hold a mad. It makes me sad That we've not worked together, Cheney's past his prime. Refrain Where the hell are you, Osama baby? Give it up and say you're through. All my foolish fancies for Araby Surely prove I mean no harm to you. Don't be cowed by Cheney still maligning Our opponents who're in bed with you. Smile Osama dear, You have nothing more to fear. You're better than I am at what we do. Verse 2 We'll bat the breeze how Israelis Always fail to mull over affronts that some Of them perceive that they receive From other mid-East Semites as a rule of thumb. And don't ask why they blow sky high When they lose another corporal or two. Why must they be so much like me? Think how many I have killed and blamed on you. Refrain Where the hell are you, Osama baby? Give it up and say you're through. All my foolish fancies for Araby Surely prove I mean no harm to you. Don't be cowed by Cheney still maligning Our opponents who're in bed with you. Smile Osama dear, You have nothing more to fear. You're better than I am at what we do.
Music by Ernie Burnett To 'Bushie's Terrorists' |
"Trading with Cuba is wrong. That Castro's a damn communist." So what about China or, say, Vietnam? Is there something somewhere that I've missed? Could someone be after that Florida vote? Na-a-h! Bushies would not sink that low. Though Katherine Harris has since flown the coop, Are we sure her replacement will jump through their hoop? Yet Jeff's still their gov as far as we know – And they've still got Scalia handling all that she wrote – So "Trading with Cuba is wrong. That Castro's a damn communist." But what about China or, say, Vietnam? Is there anything there that I've missed? Well, China's too much with our troops in Iraq. And our friend Vietnam? Who cares to look back? So they're focused on terror and an old communist, A terror back then to the Capitalist, But after the mess the've made in Iraq, I'm Relieved communists are done one at a time. Bob Carlson |
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Debate himself? You know Bush wouldn't. Why is that? He simply couldn't. He's stuck in a rut. Consider many points of view? Narrow them to just a few? Then debate to see which make the cut? Bush couldn't do it. There's too much to it. The end result? Of course you knew it. He's stuck in a rut. Trouble is the path he picked Has already got him licked. He's in quicksand and sunk up to his butt. Wouldn't you think he would know it? If he does, he doesn't show it. He can't lose face before elections. He can't admit that he could blow it. That he's stuck in a rut. Bob Carlson |
You think Bush is fighting terror? Like Giuliani at high noon? Gosh, is that a grievous error. Both may strut and lick our wounds, But neither's done much towards preventing the next attack that's "coming soon." Bush's swagger vs. substance matters much at CNN. When they see his flub the dub dance, Dobbs and Blitzer shout, "Amen!" Squinty eyes; thin lips that holler; anything to look sincere. Wishes he looked like a brawler, but can't erase that smirk and leer. None of this deters Al Qaeda's plans to use him to recruit, Utilizing his speech writer's phony claims of hot pursuit. Arrogance won't catch Osama, nor being stubborn when he's wrong. He might have won in Alabama had the fight involved mah-jongg. Bob Carlson |
Ten cents a war, That's what he promised. Is there a chance he lied? Ten cents a war, Seemed like a bargain, But how it's multiplied. Seven to midnight, I hear ads Proclaiming that he has approved. He must be stark raving mad – Can't he see nobody's moved? Some people thought they'd found a hero, But what's he fighting for? All that we've got is ground zero – Come on, Bonzo, Ten cents a war!
Words & Music by Cole Porter |
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It's better to flip-flop than be stubbornly wrong. It's better to change one's mind, Than continue to fumble and bumble along, like a duck stumbling over a blind, Like the duck who's our Born Again Bush on a mission to proselytize the Mid-East. Muslims or Jews? He will seek their contrition so their chance of nirvana's increased. Instead of more troops he'll send more missionaries with bibles to go door-to-door Forget SUVs. They'll ride dromedaries in their quest to convert even more. A bible and pledge to swear their allegiance to the one who's been specially Chosen To conquer the world with lots of malfeasance and Scalia's Supreme Court bulldozin'. Bob Carlson |
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If their plannin' Means the bannin' Of CO2, Habit formin' Global warmin' Is gonna end, too. On the basis It repalces Arabian oil, Solar power's Brightest hours Will start to foil Their jihadist Avant-gardists From e-mailin' their pleas To keep mountin' Ads discountin' Employee SUVs. Where the coal is, There the goal is Sending Bush a pipe-bomb. A good deed? "It Could be he'll need it To keep himself warm." In the meantime Muslim free time Might be better spent On prayers, Not cross hairs With evil intent. For while the sun shines, No gas lines, No coal mines, Or Bush oily wars. * The New York Times - 7/8/05 "Bush addresses global warming…"
Music by Raymond B. Egan To 'Policies - Security' To 'Terrorists' |
Never could pronounce Eye-raq. Eye-ran's who I meant to whack. Thought it ended with a "Q". Spelling's been my Waterloo. Too bad we are where we are – Eye-ran's far more nucular. If they'd told me it was "N", We'd have re-aimed way back then. Blaim it all on raising hell – Had no time to learn to spell. Can't afford any aggressions now. Even if they're fissioning. All my endeavors must hinge on how Good I am electioning. Have to let them know I care – We at least attacked somewhere. So it Wouldn't do to fight them now. Have to quietly powwow. I have told them many times Fissioning's the worst of crimes – Are they keeping ev'ry vow? KAH-BOOM! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
Music by Fats Waller |
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The Three Little Pigs formed his "Axis of Evil," Offering Bushies a chance for upheaval. While Ridge played the hero, they planned to attack The Three Little Pigs and began with Iraq. The Wolfie they hired would huff and he'd puff, But no matter how much, it was still not enuff, For that first little pig, after taking a poll, Said, "I'll play the mole in a rather small hole." Not only that, but this pig's entourage Greets Bushies with car bombs; not a single corsage. They'd love to go after those other two pigs, But fear they've constructed more elaborate digs. Bushie planning, or lack of, has been so dimwitted, And the force way too small that they've so far committed, That their huffing and puffing at the least dangerous piggie Has the other two saying, "Now look who's the biggie!" The moral? When pigging, make sure that the stink Comes from the piggies and not how you think. Bob Carlson |
Troops for hire. Battle-hardened troops for hire. Troops no longer his to use After his Iraq adieus. Troops for hire. Who will rent After Rummy's failed experiment? Mercenaries for Iraq – Will they let Bush rent them back? Troops for rent. Let the pundits tout the war in their childish way. Iraqis know the game of war better far than they. Bush still thinks that Iraq lost, But look how the dice were tossed: Our troops are their troops! Neocons, still nincompoops! Troops on loan. Troops believed to be our very own. Were they sold or merely lent? Questions Bush will soon lament, Or more likely circumvent And postpone.
Words & Music by Cole Porter |
Twinkle, twinkle little star Don't you wonder at my war? I was at an all-time high. No one twinkled more than I. Sure, you twinkled ev'ry night. What about the broad daylight? I was twinkling night and day! Till I tinkled it away… Bob Carlson |
They must be wrong, for I think war's wonderful. They're not just wrong, they don't understand. They cramp my style saying, wars can't be marvelous. But they are wrong, hey, for me they're grand. They claimed I was not presidential – My ratings incredibly low – My reign would be inconsequential – But what did they know? War came along, and for me it's wonderful, Just like I planned, for I'm never wrong.
Music by Henry Sullivan |
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They claim I'm wrong to think war's wonderful. I'll go to war, well, most any old time. Don't go along with my views of marvelous? I'll get our soldiers killed at the drop of a dime. My wars are always pre-emptive. I like to strike the first blow While keeping the rich draft exemptive And their taxes incredibly low. Be patriotic. Agree war's wonderful. To dare think otherwise, we'll soon make a crime.
Music by Henry Sullivan |
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Why doesn't Bush do What he's supposed to? He'd be renowned For having found That terrorist who, Is free to bomb me. And free to bomb you. Instead the cad, Went stark raving mad To protect CO2 For corporate fiends And fight the world's greens, Who don't dare cross Him as the boss. Meanwhile poor you, Like ev'ryone else They're free to kill, Suffer his faults And wish him ill, For he's made Iraq Their base of attack, A place to convene, And perfect their routine. Could that have made you Vulnerable, too? What he's done and won't do? * The New York Times - 7/8/05 "Subway and Bomb Blasts in London…"
Music by Isham Jones To 'Policies - Greed' To 'Policies - Security' To 'Terrorists' |
They said to say labs looked like this before. They must have been in use in the same way then, But no one is sure just where or when. The bombs they're making they have made before. The gas they were using they may use again, But no one is saying where or when. Bush claims what happened in the first war Won't be happening again. For all the allies that we had before, That fought before, That bought our war, Don't buy where or when.
Music by Richard Rodgers |